December Never Felt So Wrong
The words of a song have hit me so strongly as I navigate this unknown path without Willa during holidays and winter. Winter Song (Ingrid Michaelson & Sara Bareilles A six week postpartum checkup without a baby in tow is perhaps one of the most difficult appointments to keep. No baby carrier nestling a newborn to show off to the office staff, and no belly poking out past my toes. Instead, I carried Willa's precious photos and the current inspirational book I was reading about infant loss called "Gone Too Soon." I sat down and sighed waiting for my name to be called, trying to hold back the tears and avoid eye contact with all the pregnant women around me. Blood pressure was perfect, weight a little high (no surprise), incision completely healed, and to top it off I had already successfully had one period. "Look at me - all recovered," I said to the nurse. My body has fully healed from two pregnancies, one miscarriage, and one c-section all in less t