oops

For my first job as a trainer, I was required to sign an agreement that I would follow a healthy diet, exercise regularly and maintain a proper weight as I was an example to the gym members (including my own clients).  It was another "moment" of success for me on my transformation journey.  I had gone from the 300 pound client unable to safely walk on a treadmill to an example of health.  I was on top of my game, was no longer pursuing fat loss, and felt like I had arrived at my final transformational destination.  It was almost as if I was immune to the weight and health problems that plagued my life for nearly 3 decades.  There was nothing to hide and I was truly living my best life in full color, out loud, and with no regrets.  I was no longer vulnerable to the shame and criticism that sadly so often accompanies those of us who struggle with weight.  I had escaped!    For so many years I felt trapped, and I felt like I had to hide.  I...

8 years ago I had just started my initital transformation of over 100 pounds.  What did I eat?  What did I do?  What program did I follow? With the gift of hindsight, I can tell you that there was NO magic program or menu that was responsible.  I was responsible!  Just me and my Moxie!  We all have it, we just have to dig it out, dust it off, and put it to work! But, more accurately, the healthier  habits I adopted, and the habits that fell out of my life as healthier changes were made proved to make the biggest difference in my goals and my health.  They give you the best return on investment and have long term benefits!  Focusing on healthy habits will not only bring success but it also minimizes stress!  Double bonus! Midweek Moxie Tip:   Get your mind off the scale....and get them on your habits instead in order to get to your best health!    

I had to have this conversation with my 12 year old HEALTHY boy who was told by someone who got their reliable information from watching the Biggest Loser that a certain food would make him fat.  Seriously? First off don't give my 12 year old healthy child a fat complex.  His mama dealt with one most of her life - long enough for the both of them. That language does DAMAGE so just stop using it. Second, a certain food will not make you fat, regardless of what the Biggest Loser "experts" say. My opinion on the BL is for a whole new post, but simply put - a calorie surplus (more than a body will use daily) will result in fat storage.  That is science.  Any food eaten in excess can contribute to said surplus. And third.  Is "fat" really the worst thing you can be or be called? Thank you J.K.....

*Comeback Update: Scale isn't budging, but I feel SO incredible!  I have the stamina and strength for a 15 minute mile (started at 20+), I am sleeping, and grief attacks are less frequent (but still tsunami-like in power).  I'm managing the thoughts/emotion train a bit better, and not letting the trolls have the driver's seat.  For the most part (hallelujah) persistence is working in my favor, and I am keeping the BED at bay by following a healthy plan of eating, and ENJOYING a splurge day free of guilt.  And...there is a little glimmer back in the far back of the room.  It fades in and ALMOST out, but never quite disappears.  I think it might be hope. This new journey has required the building of another bridge. I say bridge because weight loss and habit change sometimes feels like a river too big to cross easily and to deep to swim in.  This time around, I know more about bridge building, I am learning more, I am trusting the process more, I am resti...

"You never know what's around the corner.  It could be everything.  Or it could be nothing.  You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain."  ~Tom Hiddleston Stood before my mountain Yet another one to climb Asked how shall I get this done A single step at at time. But this mountain is new Above me it does soar It remains this way through One step, then one step more Of the climb I grow weary This summit may not reach Take a step, you will see You draw closer with each The mountain is my destiny To climb is my life's writ One single step set me free In this step, my refusal to quit.

I used to be sedentary.  Not even slightly active unless it was laundry day - I mean sedentary. Walking to my mailbox was a daily chore!  Ironically, I think my life now would make the past me tired just watching!  If you think you have to adopt a rigorous health plan or gym routine to make positive and lasting health changes, think again!  The smallest of changes can have a huge impact on your health - you can start by looking at your NEAT factors.  The term NEAT is an acronym for "non-exercise activity thermogenesis" or the scientific jabber for the everything we do that is not sleeping, eating, or sports-like exercise -  unintentional activity you do throughout the day.   Examples include walking to the store, changing the laundry, and whatever else keeps you from sitting on your kiester.   Research has shown that the  second you sit down: Calorie consumption drops to 1 calorie burnt per mi...

Working in gym, I get to see a variety of people from all walks of life and how all those people share the common thread of fitness.  It is my personal experience that the "face" of fitness is NOT always the perfectly chiseled body with every muscle in tip top performance.   These seem to be telling us, this is how "to be" and if you aren't here, you don't "measure up" to our standards and therefore must be making excuses as to why you don't.  I shuddered at the post making headlines in the fitness industry of "What's Your Excuse" by self-proclaimed fitness enthusiast Maria Kang.  Don't get me wrong those gym enthusiast work hard to achieve goals, and I absolutely applaud them for it.  I shudder because it only tells ONE kind of story.  To be labeled as "fit" you must look, feel, and act like....." regardless.  Daunting when you think about it.  I am always intrigued by the not so common faces of fitness - thos...

There are some pictures and articles that demand I pay attention.  The "thigh gap" myth is one such thing.  I used to watch my chubby self in the mirror at the gym whilst hoisting my dumbbells and think that when I could see the GAP  (or the space between your upper-mid thigh - right below your lady parts - when your feet are together) then I had reached the "in crowd" of fit women.  I even used to try and put my feet together and contort my body until I could get even the slightest glimpse of light between my thighs. After having lost my weight, become a runner, and worked as a trainer in various gyms- I must confess I have never achieved such greatness.  I have one picture taken at my lowest weight for a photo shoot for the local paper with the coveted gap, but I am in squat stance and have a 40 pound bar on my shoulders.  Honestly, I would much rather be able to leg press several hundred pounds than delicately gawk at my thigh ga...

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” Pablo Picasso When I started my journey- I knew absolutely nothing about weight lifting, cardiovascular health, or good nutrition.  Well, other than the the countless books and diet plans I had invested my money in and started ...but never finished.   Sound familiar?  I probably have them all, as I was always looking for "the" answer that would change my life.  That craziness stopped in 2007 when I decided to stop looking for the answers in others and start learning for myself.   I began with Weight Watchers and learned the basics of portion control and calories, and then expanded my knowledge by reading actual nutrition books and articles (blogs were not QUITE as reliable or plentiful as they are now).  I hired my trainer, Adam, who taught me weight lifting and cardio basics, and I asked him endless questions.  Relentless I was....curious and craving more knowledge a...

If you have EVER made a gym part of your weight loss/workout regiment, you have probably experienced it.  That uncomfortable feeling when the ultra-fit people begin talking and you wonder if you are in another world. I call it gym-timidation.  I know I have experienced it, and there have been many times I have wanted to quit because of it! I vividly recall my 275 pound self hobbling around the gym where I quite frankly felt that I did not "belong."  I was oversized on the equipment and out of breath, and he wants me to do what?  As my transformation began, no one else really talked to me, and I felt like I was at one of those "by special invitation only" parties with my trainer.  I felt like I didn't "deserve" to be there because I wasn't at the same "place" physically as 90% of those who walked through the door. I was convinced that everyone was watching me struggle through the workouts, and I felt like I was being judged....

I don't know how many times I have mentally beat myself up that I didn't stick to my eating plan perfectly, or do the workout I had intended.  I get caught up in the imperfection of my day and THINK on all the things I could have done better, eaten less of, tried harder at.   Insert eye roll and defeated heavy sigh.  You get the picture right? The mind is a beautiful thing, and I know it can also be my strongest enemy when it comes to reaching my goals if I am not careful of what thoughts are going in and taking up valuable space. After finishing a run, my brain has two options.  It can say, "You go girl!  You did it!  You finished that 6 miles in the hot sun and you didn't quit!  Just think of how far you have come!  Remember the days of NOT being able to walk to the mailbox or around the block with your boy?  They are GONE!  You just ran six miles on your 3rd day of "getting back" in to running!  You are amazing, your body is stro...

Sadly, our modern american society usually equates beauty with being "skinny" while discounting the host of fabulous qualities that make a woman beautiful.  I have had this picture in my book of inspiration since the beginning.  It was my tool for combating the voice in my head that said, "You would be more beautiful, more loved, more talented, more adored, more appreciated, more ______  (insert your favorite descriptor here) if you were skinnier." This erroneous message was reinforced in my life until I had accepted it as truth, and consequently believed just getting skinny would not only end all my sadness and trials, but would improve everything, including my failing relationship.  Uh..no pressure! What I learned through my transformation was that I WAS truly beautiful, regardless the size.  There are a host of qualities that I now equate as beautiful - that DO NOT correlate with my body. Courageous.  Tenacious.  Loving.  Kind.  Strong. ...