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Perhaps not what you think. A conversation with a friend tonight prompted me to pull a familiar book off the shelf. Yes, I have an Alcoholics Anonymous book which I have read and re-read, highlighted, marked, and gained insight into myself after I shut it's cover. Early on...before I even stepped foot on a treadmill I was attending an addiction recovery group based on the principles in that book. I would sit in an old Presbyterian church in Halifax with people from all walks of life and say I was addicted to food and admit that I was trying desperately to fix an "illness" within me that could only be conquered by a spiritual experience. It was that book and those early groups that turned me to God for help in recovering from my path of self-destruction. I literally turned the control of my life over to God.....and am ever so grateful that I did. I am nervous about the next phase of my life. It is hugely unknown, and therefore a bit scary for me. However, I know...

Today was one of "those" days for me. Quite frankly, I am battling a deep sense of loneliness . Not just in the sense of relationships, but also in this point of my life. I am taking little leaps of faith that have me jumping from safety and security and leave me feeling very alone . This is not a new emotion for me, it is actually one that I am very familiar with and one that aided in getting me to where I was three years ago. Loneliness has not disappeared from my life - I have just changed the way I react to it and how I find the courage to take a deep breath, really feel and live through the emotion, and move on. That loneliness continued today for me at the gym during my workout. I had looked forward to working out with a dear friend of mine and felt I could not do it alone. I didn't want to be alone......anything but feel that loneliness again today. She wasn't able to make it, and there I was - in a gym - surrounded by people, yet immensely alone. I...

One common conversation I have with people is what it takes to be successful on this journey. I can put it most of it under four basic topics - they will be the basis for this blog. 1. GOD - Whether you believe in a loving God as I do, or in a Higher Power, it is vital to have that - and to turn to it to help you find the strength to dig deep inside yourself! 2. NUTRITION SENSE - We all have to eat, and do it on a pretty regular basis. It is important to make sense of it, and and the key is to not let it be in control of you. 3. COMMIT TO BE FIT - - It can be as simple as a walk or as complex as a marathon. Our bodies are designed to move, and a commitment to moving it is a must. 4. SUPPORT - A support and accountability system is a must! Whether a spouse, family, fellow gym rats, a food support group, whatever. You need something in place to strengthen you, tell you to "suck it up" when needed, and to catch you when you fall.

Sounds funny to say, but I wasn't nervous at all. I didn't even take a picture. After running the Half-Marathon, anything less seems SO doable! I have something planned every couple of months...just to keep me motivated, and today is a beautiful 6 mile hilly run in Talent, Oregon called the Frostbite Run. I didn't do it for a great time, I just did it to finish, and so that I didn't have to workout at the gym! A guilt free weekend! Yay! And, the best part was that I finished in 1 hour and 6 minutes (my first 10K...and run ever.....was done in 1 hour 26 minutes). Shaving off 20 minutes was pretty darn exciting!

One thing I wanted to accomplish after hitting my 100 pound weigh obliteration, was participate in a half-marathon. 13.2 glorious mile of my feet hitting the pavement.... One problem it was 36 degrees outside (I don't like to be cold), and I really don't "like" to run. I honestly never get in that "zone" but I like how it feels when I am done. So, I laced up my shoes, took some pictures and ran the Grants Pass Half Marathon on November 20th. One thing crossed off my "Someday I Want To..." list. Our motto for this race came from Hebrews 12:1 Pre-run jitters Still smiling after 13.2 miles!