Winning the Mental Battle - 13 Things To Avoid

As part of my program, I offer a mental/emotional piece that is neglected in most quick weight loss plans.  That is what makes mine different.  In my experience, if you take care of that emotional creature inside the outside shell will follow the course....in either direction.

I came across this wonderful article written by Cheryl Conner on what mentally strong people avoid and I could  not help but see a direct correlation between those and what it takes mentally to achieve weight loss and a healthy self esteem while doing it.  So here is the list (originally posted here by Amy Morin)  and my thoughts/ideas on how they relate to this mental battle I have been in for most of my life.

Typically, if your are mentally strong, you have healthy habits.  You can successfully manage emotions and thoughts which help create and solidify success.  This list (and my subsequent weight loss slant) are things that those mentally strong ones DON'T do.  Check them out....pattern after those who have done what you want to achieve. It is a GREAT list to start with...

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.  Don't feel sorry about where you are on the fitness realm or how  you got there.  Be grateful and realize all that you have learned from your experience and move on.  Obstacles in your way of goal achievement?  Fix them - don't waste time fretting about them. 

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.  No - not even the cookies deserve your power.  You can be in control of your emotions.  Don't give up the control on the one thing you truly can have power over - you , your diet, and your life. 

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.  Don't be afraid of the changes.  They may seem scary or hard at first, but I guarantee it is not as bad as you think.  Believe me until you can believe it yourself. 

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude. Again..focus on what you CAN control.  The food you put in your mouth, your thoughts, your habits, your body, and your attitude.   

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.  This is a huge commonality among people who struggle with food addiction and chronic weight loss.  Speak your truth, be rigorously honest, but be kind.  You are not in charge of the universe. 

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.  If you put a nutrition plan in to action, and follow exercise guidelines, you will not fail.  So many times people get frozen by "what if I work so hard at this and don't lose weight?"  What if you do?  A lifetime of health and vigor is worth the risk of feeling intimidated at the gym.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future. Stay in the moment.  Quit spending time thinking about how thin you used to be, or how much time you have wasted not being healthy.  Move forward. 

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.  If your eating habits are working for your success, or your lifestyle doesn't have room for exercise.  Fix it.  Don't keep dwelling in the systems that aren't bringing you the results you want. 

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people's success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.  This can be hard, but don't look at healthier people and belittle their success because you aren't there  yet.   Don't pull the fat card like I did so many times and think you can't be like the fit people.  We can all be in the same category!  Your greatest competition is you. 

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.  Each failure should be the teacher that helps you the next time.  Failures are the chance to change and get it right, not an indication that it is impossible. 

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.  That is one thing I have grown to love - a long run or walk, or my earphones in at the gym - no body else in my head but me (and sometimes a little Pink).

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.  Everybody has something to offer.  You have something to give.  Seek for ways to give rather than only basing your choices on what you feel others are required to give you. 

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.  Um...huge for weight loss.  Right?  Let me reiterate those last words....remember that REAL CHANGE TAKES TIME.