I Mention Her...

A sweet angel mommy wrote this...I only see her as TreysMommy on a grief support site, but I loved her words and they spoke to me.  I have changed it from "him" to "her."  The original poem can be found here:  I Mention Him 


I Mention Her
Not to make you uncomfortable,
She's my daughter, I should be able to talk about her.
Not to dwell,
She will forever be my daughter, part of my life, my heart.
Not to make you feel guilty,
She is a child just like your own, but she's in Heaven.
Not to bring you down,
It brings me joy to speak of her fondly.
Not to get attention,
She exists in my life just as your topics of conversation exists in yours.
Not to gain sympathy,
Believe you me, I wish I did not have to speak of her in the past tense.
Not to bring you down,
My grief is lifelong, my healing is in the only life she has now, her mommy.
Not to rub it in your face,
I would never wish this on ANYONE!
Not to make it about me,
I am just another parent trying to speak of my kids the way you do yours.
Not to suck you into my world,
Your world is just as important to me.
Not to distract you,
I want to hear how your life is going, your happiness is relevant.
Not to take away from the conversation,
Yet life as well as death is a part of common conversation.
Not to make my life seem more important than yours,
I am my own person in my own journey and I share what is in my heart just as you do.
Not to remind you of your own grief,
We all walk our own paths and stumble as all humans do, we should pick each other up.
Not to garner your support,
Everyone gives whatever they can to enrich the lives of the ones they care for.
Not to remind you,
No one needs to be reminded of the loss of a child.
Not to haunt you,
It sucks, it truly does but not speaking of her haunts those who love her.
She is my daughter, I mention her, her life, her passing, and the times since then because I live every one of those moments in real time everyday. She is a part of my being.  She is a part of my soul. She has a place in my heart. I carried her in my womb. I watched her struggle. I made the hardest decision a parent will EVER have to make...I let her go.  But understand, though I let her go physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, she will ALWAYS be with me! I am thankful for it, it's all I have and at this point, it is all I need.

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