Capturing Grief - about PURPOSE

Purpose is a funny word for me when it comes to grief and baby loss.  Purpose of my life.  Purpose of suffering.  Purpose in extra chromosomes. Purpose in early births.  Purpose in infertility.  I think I always believed that there was a purpose  in everything, but I as I have plunged forward in the last few years, I haven't been able to make sense of most of it.  I haven't been able to find a purpose in most of it.  I can't believe in my heart that purpose is equal to suffering and pain. 

On the other side the last few years have created a different purpose for me.  I now seek to help other moms that have suffered baby loss through volunteering for Utah Share.  I have found a deeper sense of empathy for others in their own suffering.  I have had to find new purpose in my life in regards to children.  They are not coming - at least not in this earthly time frame.  It was an entire shift of purpose for me. 

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