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In 2007, I accomplished something most people never do.  I lost 115 pounds the old-fashioned way. No gimmicks, no fad diets.  I got in the "drivers seat" with my brain, I moved my body, fueled it as best I could.  Over time, I learned to appreciate my body at every size and shape, and to find gratitude the simplest of moments.  I learned the value of rest for both mind and body.  I truly found my "sweet spot" for optimal health, and I called it my Moxie.  I stayed in that "place" for almost 10 years and worked as a NASM Certified Personal Trainer for about 5 years as a way of not only paying it forward to help others but to keep my life active.  I promised myself I would never "go back. Looking back, it was because I was afraid.  Afraid  I wouldn't have the strength or the Moxie to do it again. Turns out it was just a dress rehearsal. Fast forward to 2019 and I am still digging through the ashes of a few disastrous years to find my Moxie again.  I

Understanding food addiction was one of the ways I was better able to navigate my way through making lasting changes to better my health.  A book I love (to the point the jacket is in shambles) is called It's Not What You're Eating, It's What's Eating You" by Janet Greeson) says this: There is a widespread myth about food addicts tha t control is their main issue. I disagree.    Control is a symptom.  The core issue is powerlessness .  The food addict gives away power to the food.  Think of the power people give away to that "just one" potato chip that will lead to a binge. Because people with eating disorders think in terms of controlling what they eat, they are often very rigid in their attitude.  After all, addiction to food is much more difficult to live with than an addiction to alcohol or other substances from which people can totally abstain . I don't believe in focusing on control .  It makes as much sense as treating and allergic rash with

While strength training with a new coach this morning (my sweet Cassie moved away) I started to think about this body of mine.  Even though it is technically the same body, for many years after I lost the original 100+ pounds I was afraid of ever going "back" of ever returning to this version of my body.  It sounds like a silly fear, but it was real to me.  When you spend some time in the fitness industry, it becomes harder to ignore the notion that you will never arrive at a goal - but you always need to be chasing one.  The number on the scale to change, a higher weight lifted, more repetitions,  I mean really the list could go on.  It's about always being MORE. The danger with it is the labels that come from that process.  My worth and self-esteem got all kinds of tied up in them.  Relationships were based on those behaviors.  As long as I was always getting stronger, pushing myself, and having perfect nutrition, I was loved.  I was admired.  I was popular.  The social

I have been thinking about starting another blog for quite some time.  Actually, if you notice my posted dated  Thursday, March 14, 2013, it has been about 6 years.  Ironic huh?   I did have a good run with the moxiebymichele blog but then it changed a couple of more times, and then my life story had a huge plot twist, and everything got turned upside down and shaken - like a snow globe.  I still feel like I am grasping for the pieces still left floating in the air.   I am not the same woman I was before it all happened.  Before I took a huge leap back in to the Mommy ring, only to be beaten several times by miscarriage, and finally the rare chance of a chromosomal mutation.  For more on that you can read www.willamichele.blogspot.com .  Although bereavement and grief have drastically altered by body and mind, in a way that I can't explain they have also forged something new in me - something so significant that could only come through those experiences, something that I am still l

Originally posted in Moxie Memoirs on 10/13/2017 As I have tried to dig through the mess of the last three years, and perhaps find some good resources to pass on to friends and clients, I stumbled on the work of  Dr. Melissa McCreery and her website .  There has been WAY too much on my plate for multiple years, and to be honest the last three were the tipping point.  They took everything I had learned about health and fitness, boxed it up and shoved it in the back of my mental closet where I didn’t have to face the incongruity of my life of a health professional with an unhealthy physical and mental state.  Some days I felt like I had been living someone else’s life.   Since changing some habits and getting my brain to function better, I am able to step back and see the how the severity of what I was going through led to where I was. Dr. McCreery’s BEAST info-graphic was like a freakish road map to my unplanned, emotional, haphazard eating habits. I was hungry for something that could

Posted in Moxie Memoirs on 03/28/2018 Some weeks I feel like a rock star. Food (the constant thinking and eating of it) and finding time for exercise come effortlessly. I set out to follow my plan designed to reach my goals and it seems to intuitively come together. I feel a little bit like my authentic self..my body and soul in harmony. It’s a feeling of wholeness that I can’t explain but savor when I find it. Some weeks..not so much. Weeks like this last one – no matter how I try or plan I find I can’t quite reach that. Things happen and crowd out my plans. The Gremlins start smack-talking about my  worth  and  willpower  and suddenly I’ve faded in to the background of my own life. My tendency is to default to feeling like a  failure - and  I’m trying to pause before my brain absorbs that and invites more Gremlins to the table. Truth is – life isn’t perfect and with all I have going on, setbacks are inevitable. I’ve learned to be prepared for them. In order to keep the Gremlins at ba