oops

I encourage people to keep a journal, especially when they are going through weight loss and transformation.  It is not only a great way to keep track of food and exercise, but also a tool to record personal insights and realizations.  I kept record of the good, the bad, and yes even the ugly!  My journals have become precious to me.  Yes, I see a lot of  "I didn't so so well" or "I am so frustrated" entries, but there were also some great entries!  Some that were major miles markers on my journey...or "lightbulb" moments.   For instance: March 2007 (6 months before I started my transformation) "I am starting to catch a glimpse of that woman I was.  She has been buried and stuffed away for so long  - its gonna take some work to get her back.  This week I discovered something SO profound.  I found myself saying "I don't think I am worth it," when it comes to living up to my potential and doing all the things I hav...

I don't know how many times I have mentally beat myself up that I didn't stick to my eating plan perfectly, or do the workout I had intended.  I get caught up in the imperfection of my day and THINK on all the things I could have done better, eaten less of, tried harder at.   Insert eye roll and defeated heavy sigh.  You get the picture right? The mind is a beautiful thing, and I know it can also be my strongest enemy when it comes to reaching my goals if I am not careful of what thoughts are going in and taking up valuable space. After finishing a run, my brain has two options.  It can say, "You go girl!  You did it!  You finished that 6 miles in the hot sun and you didn't quit!  Just think of how far you have come!  Remember the days of NOT being able to walk to the mailbox or around the block with your boy?  They are GONE!  You just ran six miles on your 3rd day of "getting back" in to running!  You are amazing, your body is stro...

Sadly, our modern american society usually equates beauty with being "skinny" while discounting the host of fabulous qualities that make a woman beautiful.  I have had this picture in my book of inspiration since the beginning.  It was my tool for combating the voice in my head that said, "You would be more beautiful, more loved, more talented, more adored, more appreciated, more ______  (insert your favorite descriptor here) if you were skinnier." This erroneous message was reinforced in my life until I had accepted it as truth, and consequently believed just getting skinny would not only end all my sadness and trials, but would improve everything, including my failing relationship.  Uh..no pressure! What I learned through my transformation was that I WAS truly beautiful, regardless the size.  There are a host of qualities that I now equate as beautiful - that DO NOT correlate with my body. Courageous.  Tenacious.  Loving.  Kind.  Strong. ...