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This Body

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While strength training with a new coach this morning (my sweet Cassie moved away) I started to think about this body of mine.  Even though it is technically the same body, for many years after I lost the original 100+ pounds I was afraid of ever going "back" of ever returning to this version of my body.  It sounds like a silly fear, but it was real to me.  When you spend some time in the fitness industry, it becomes harder to ignore the notion that you will never arrive at a goal - but you always need to be chasing one.  The number on the scale to change, a higher weight lifted, more repetitions,  I mean really the list could go on.  It's about always being MORE. The danger with it is the labels that come from that process.  My worth and self-esteem got all kinds of tied up in them.  Relationships were based on those behaviors.  As long as I was always getting stronger, pushing myself, and having perfect nutrition, I was loved.  I was a...
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Learning the Difference

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Posted in Moxie Memoirs on 03/28/2018 Some weeks I feel like a rock star. Food (the constant thinking and eating of it) and finding time for exercise come effortlessly. I set out to follow my plan designed to reach my goals and it seems to intuitively come together. I feel a little bit like my authentic self..my body and soul in harmony. It’s a feeling of wholeness that I can’t explain but savor when I find it. Some weeks..not so much. Weeks like this last one – no matter how I try or plan I find I can’t quite reach that. Things happen and crowd out my plans. The Gremlins start smack-talking about my  worth  and  willpower  and suddenly I’ve faded in to the background of my own life. My tendency is to default to feeling like a  failure - and  I’m trying to pause before my brain absorbs that and invites more Gremlins to the table. Truth is – life isn’t perfect and with all I have going on, setbacks are inevitable. I’ve learned to be prepared for them. In ord...
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Get CONTROL of yourself!

Understanding food addiction was one of the ways I was better able to navigate my way through making lasting changes to better my health.  A book I love (to the point the jacket is in shambles) is called It's Not What You're Eating, It's What's Eating You" by Janet Greeson) says this: There is a widespread myth about food addicts tha t control is their main issue. I disagree.    Control is a symptom.  The core issue is powerlessness .  The food addict gives away power to the food.  Think of the power people give away to that "just one" potato chip that will lead to a binge. Because people with eating disorders think in terms of controlling what they eat, they are often very rigid in their attitude.  After all, addiction to food is much more difficult to live with than an addiction to alcohol or other substances from which people can totally abstain . I don't believe in focusing on control .  It makes as much sense as treating and allergic r...
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