Day One - Doctor Visit

October 15 2014.  Ironically (unbeknownst to me) National Infant Loss Awareness Day.  When I woke up that Wednesday, I  knew something important was going to happen. I hadn't slept well for a couple of nights, and the morning felt very heavy.  It was cold and raining as we headed up to McKay-Dee for a 9:40 appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine.  We had been seeing them weekly since Willa had started lagging in growth, measuring just 2.26 pounds at 30 weeks.  She had slipped from the 15th percentile for growth down to the 8th, and the planned steroid injections to help her lungs mature stopped due to an allergic reaction in me.  I had already been to the hospital once for bleeding after lifting laundry, and was nervously counting every kick and movement each and every day.  The placenta had started tearing, and our goal was just to keep her safely inside as long as possible and aim for 37 weeks gestation.  Our hope was that in the three weeks since being labeled "growth restricted" Willa had grown and gained enough weight to continue with that goal.

I expected an ultrasound to conduct measurements followed by a 30 minute non-stress test.  It had become something I looked forward to.  30 minutes of just the three of us together, his hand always on my knee, listening to our little girl kick and move. Her heartbeat was music to my ears, and I always walked away from those appointments with a little more peace of mind and reassurance that she was still there, growing and moving.  However, this time, the ultrasound showed a back flow of blood into the placenta.  She was trying to survive a deteriorating placenta, and was not getting enough oxygen.  Our planned breakfast date after the appointment changed with the alarming news.  There would be no 30 minute non-stress test, no breakfast date, no weekly peace of mind, and no return appointment to make.  We were having a baby instead.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sticky Fingers Dilemma

This is a repost done from the blog on MFP dated January 22, 2015 So it happened today.  I went to lunch with my sister, and thought I was making a healthy choice.  I ordered a salad....check.  Ordered the dressing on the side....check. I was short on calories for the day so I ordered the sticky fingers as my protein...check.  Or not.    Food arrived, and I placed the bowl (yes bowl) of Ranch dressing on the side and tip-dipped my fork in it as I began my first bite. The salad was delicious, and I felt so good about my choice - used very little dressing. Once the meal was over and I got home, I searched MyFitnessPal for the meal to add it to my daily calories.  1110 calories .  Not even kidding.  I even searched the restaurant website to make sure it was right.  I had ordered the lunch salad after all, and that high number just had to include the bowl of ranch. Nope.  The lunch salad without dressing is listed as 1110 calories.   Two-thirds  of my calorie goal on my eating plan - in on
Read more

No Excuses...NO LIMIT!

Image
There have been times in my life when God sends me messages in very overt ways. It is usually when I have already felt something (usually a course of action or idea) in my heart and then I sit back, and procrastinate with it. Now, mind you, I am NOT ignoring it completely... just letting it sit idle for awhile, looking the other way, waiting, and making all kinds of excuses as different things get put in line before it. Waiting for what? Who knows. Why do I procrastinate and allow myself to turn away? Distraction? Fear? Doubt? You get the point (and could probably add a few more good ones to the list as well). This pivotal course of action and idea got distracted a few weeks ago by a host of things and just kept getting lower and lower on "the list." Until this weekend. Within just 3 days I was well aware of my lack of focus and the long list of excuses I was beginning to believe. I have been set straight again. The first clear message (in case I missed that b
Read more

Exercise At Home

One of the obstacles I faced at home was finding time and "umph" to exercise. I had big plans to jog every morning before breakfast and hike on the mountain in front of home. I found myself measuring distances from my parents to different stores, etc. to see where I could run to. I did jog on a couple of days...and 6 miles...while I was there, but with the snow and coming down with a touch of a flu/cold my big plans didn't end up so great. Eating was a bit of a struggle. I wasn't in my kitchen, and sometimes didn't have a choice as to where or what was available to eat, but I really tried to remain focused and center my energy on making healthy choices for food and exercise. Besides jogging, we also swam, went for short walks, and played outside. I haven't weighed in yet, so I don't know what the final results were, but I did feel pretty good about what I had done.
Read more