STWDM4 - Fulfillment is the Key

Day 4 Message - We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment. ― Hilaire Belloc

Everyone can feel the difference between emptiness and fullness, and it is this experience that allows us to feel our way to better lifestyle choices. Today we learn that there are many kinds of hunger, but only one state of fulfillment. When you give yourself what you really want and need, unhealthy habits, such as overeating, cease to be a problem.  Instead of fighting against a habit that always fights back, ask yourself, “What am I hungry for right now?” then seek to satisfy that hunger directly.”

O:  Often we feel we are lacking something and we seek to fill that longing without thought or consideration so, we eat, we spend, we drink, we indulge, we overwork.  The truth is that’s being human – everybody goes through it.  If we seek to understand what we lack instead of reacting to those feelings of lack, we can begin to fill ourselves with real comfort and strength.  What is it you’re really hungry for?  As we shift, without judgement, from mindlessness to being more mindful, we can absolutely fill ourselves up.  We need nothing more than to connect to what we already have within. That is the key we are all searching for.  That, my friends, is what turns being weighted and heavy and burdened into weightlessness.  Our goal is to get ourselves full from within.

D:  Fulfillment is the feeling that you are no longer needy, in a state of lack.  Fulfillment means you will feel complete and content as you are in this moment.  It is what you truly are.  When we feel incomplete, or lacking in some way, we are no longer centered in our real self.  This inner feeling of lack is where inner cravings come from.  Instead of fighting against a craving habit that always fights back, ask yourself, ‘what am I hungry for right now’ and then seek to satisfy that hunger directly.
Let’s say you were up late one evening and despite eating dinner, you find yourself going to the refrigerator or cupboard to find a snack.  The next time you’re in this situation, try a simple exercise. Stop for a few seconds, notice your presence of awareness within and ask,

What is really going on?
What does my awareness really lack?
What am I truly hungry for right now?

The answer is that your true self lacks nothing but your separate self is emotionally unsatisfied.  You are bored and hungry for stimulation or you are lonely and want a warm feeling that a favorite taste brings. Whatever the lack you are feeling, be aware that is not coming from your real self and then go ahead and have your snack if you like. As part of the shift, don’t judge yourself for the things you feel you lack. Denial and distraction are easy to find in a world filled with electronic diversions such as smart phones and television. It doesn’t matter if you shouldn’t believe you are lacking something just because other parts of your life are going well.   Many married people are happy with their spouses but want more intimacy.  A mother with three young children can still feel lonely.  Our hunger and desire are undeniable. It’s what makes us human.

Your goal is to balance your true needs and wants, separating them from temporary, false and self-limiting hunger that never gets filled.  The rule here is that only  consciously being your true self can heal emotions.  Don’t look for more of anything external, a bigger house, more status, a better job. They do not have the sustained power of knowing genuine inner fulfillment that is within us already.

Keep in mind the satisfaction you feel after a deep peaceful meditation.  That’s the feeling you can give yourself anytime you want and then you can look forward to being in a deeper and deeper state of fulfillment as time unfolds.

Journal Ideas:  1.  Write about a lack in your life that is being filled by cravings or bad habits.  Now, write down how you can more directly address that lack. For example, if a lack of self-esteem is a big part of what’s driving unhealthy habits, consider helping someone using a talent you have. It could be giving piano lessons if you are a musician, or helping them sort out their business expenses if you are good with numbers.  2.  List the areas of your life in which you already feel fulfilled, and then write down how you can start building on that fulfillment.