oops

While strength training with a new coach this morning (my sweet Cassie moved away) I started to think about this body of mine.  Even though it is technically the same body, for many years after I lost the original 100+ pounds I was afraid of ever going "back" of ever returning to this version of my body.  It sounds like a silly fear, but it was real to me.  When you spend some time in the fitness industry, it becomes harder to ignore the notion that you will never arrive at a goal - but you always need to be chasing one.  The number on the scale to change, a higher weight lifted, more repetitions,  I mean really the list could go on.  It's about always being MORE. The danger with it is the labels that come from that process.  My worth and self-esteem got all kinds of tied up in them.  Relationships were based on those behaviors.  As long as I was always getting stronger, pushing myself, and having perfect nutrition, I was loved.  I was a...

I have been thinking about starting another blog for quite some time.  Actually, if you notice my posted dated  Thursday, March 14, 2013, it has been about 6 years.  Ironic huh?   I did have a good run with the moxiebymichele blog but then it changed a couple of more times, and then my life story had a huge plot twist, and everything got turned upside down and shaken - like a snow globe.  I still feel like I am grasping for the pieces still left floating in the air.   I am not the same woman I was before it all happened.  Before I took a huge leap back in to the Mommy ring, only to be beaten several times by miscarriage, and finally the rare chance of a chromosomal mutation.  For more on that you can read www.willamichele.blogspot.com .  Although bereavement and grief have drastically altered by body and mind, in a way that I can't explain they have also forged something new in me - something so significant that could only come thro...

Originally posted in Moxie Memoirs on 10/13/2017 As I have tried to dig through the mess of the last three years, and perhaps find some good resources to pass on to friends and clients, I stumbled on the work of  Dr. Melissa McCreery and her website .  There has been WAY too much on my plate for multiple years, and to be honest the last three were the tipping point.  They took everything I had learned about health and fitness, boxed it up and shoved it in the back of my mental closet where I didn’t have to face the incongruity of my life of a health professional with an unhealthy physical and mental state.  Some days I felt like I had been living someone else’s life.   Since changing some habits and getting my brain to function better, I am able to step back and see the how the severity of what I was going through led to where I was. Dr. McCreery’s BEAST info-graphic was like a freakish road map to my unplanned, emotional, haphazard eating habits. I was hun...

Posted in Moxie Memoirs on 03/28/2018 Some weeks I feel like a rock star. Food (the constant thinking and eating of it) and finding time for exercise come effortlessly. I set out to follow my plan designed to reach my goals and it seems to intuitively come together. I feel a little bit like my authentic self..my body and soul in harmony. It’s a feeling of wholeness that I can’t explain but savor when I find it. Some weeks..not so much. Weeks like this last one – no matter how I try or plan I find I can’t quite reach that. Things happen and crowd out my plans. The Gremlins start smack-talking about my  worth  and  willpower  and suddenly I’ve faded in to the background of my own life. My tendency is to default to feeling like a  failure - and  I’m trying to pause before my brain absorbs that and invites more Gremlins to the table. Truth is – life isn’t perfect and with all I have going on, setbacks are inevitable. I’ve learned to be prepared for them. In ord...